Upon the Hills

Understanding God

Perhaps one of the most memorable and retold accounts in the Old Testament is when God gave Moses His Ten Commandments, beckoning him again to Mount Sinai to receive the two new stone tablets to replace those that had been broken, and renewing His convenant with Israel.

While with Moses on Mount Sinai, God spoke these words:

"The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquities and transgression and sin, by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children's children to the third and fourth generation." (Exodus 34:6-7)

Gracious, merciful, abounding in goodness and truth.  Each of these powerful, beautiful, loving attributes of God amaze me daily.  But, they are not what strikes me most deeply as I read the words that our Lord spoke to His servant Moses on the Mount so many, many years ago.

God, our heavenly Father who created everything and purposed all, is longsuffering.

My entire life is a journey towards God, a pilgrimage through this world to heaven, but each day I learn something new about our Creator.  I strive to understand him more deeply and to grow in emulation of Christ with every new minute.  Recognizing that God suffers is pivotal to our faith.  Understanding that He experiences hurt and sadness are essential to comprehending His awesome love.  God despairs when we don't want Him, when we turn away and choose others over Him (often ourselves).  He yearns to hold us close, whisper His name to us, fill our lives and our hearts with overwhelming blessings that fall from nothing except His passion for us.  Whenever we're hurt or sorrowful, it's Him who we turn to.  Who does God have to mend His broken hopes?  Who comforts our Lord when our wickedness grieves Him? 

Loving God isn't only about extoling His praise.  It's about lovingly and faithfully obeying Him.  Trusting in His guidance and receiving His call, no matter what this world wants us to do or what our sinful desires try and lead us towards, these are the ways that we demonstrate our eternal thanksgiving and love for the Father who cares more about each of us than any majestic mountain, any deep ocean or any brilliant diamond that He has made.  God's hopes and happiness rests in us.  Ours in Him.

Go Out with Boldness

Pharaoh's heart had been hardened against the people of Israel, and he pursued them out of Egypt.  The Book of Exodus tells us that "the children of Israel went out with boldness" but also that when the Pharaoh got closer "they were very afraid..." (Exodus 14:8, 10).

How many times have we been gripped with fear?  Running from something overwhelming that keeps getting closer and closer, we're anxious, paralyzed with worry and frightened.  Despite the drastic and dangerous step to flee with Moses, the Israelites boldly went forward.  By acting with boldness, as Scripture tells us, the people of Israel went against what was expected of them - by Pharaoh - and listened to God.  Still, they were afraid when this world seemed to be gaining on them, but they didn't retreat.  No, the Israelites did not relent.  What did they do?

These children called out to their Father.

"So they were very afraid, and the children of Israel cried out to the Lord." (Exodus 14:10)

Moses kept confirming God's plan to save them, and the worry of the Israelites persisted until God asked Moses, "Why do you cry to Me?  Tell the chidren of Israel to go forward.  But lift up your rod, and stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it.  And the children of Israel shall go on to dry ground through the midst of the sea.  And I indeed will harden the hearts of the Egyptians, and they shall follow them.  So I will gain honor over Pharaoh and over all his army, his chariots, and his horsemen.  Then the Egyptians shall know that I am the Lord..." (Exodus 14:15-18).

The people of Israel lamented to God and asked Him to help them.  Our Lord responded by giving them bold leadership to match their bold spirits.  He didn't come down and part the sea Himself.  God's plans included Moses' headship and the faith that was fostered on each side through Moses' relationship with the Israelites during this trying, pressing, mighty experience.  The Lord wasn't only aiming to win Pharaoh to Himself; He wanted each and every one of the Israelites, as well.

The experiences that we have here in our earthly lives are crafted by God if we are bold enough to step into His will.  I've heard people wonder before about what exactly it is that God wants them to do, but quiet mouths and ready ears will always hear His call.  Our hearts were born primed for God's direction and to love Him enough to trust.  This sinful world has masked those truths, but being courageous enough - bold enough - to heed God's commands is the way to grow in our faith. 

God is Really, Really God

"For this purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth."Exodus 9:16

The following devotion is by Mary Graham:

A friend of mine read the entire Bible when she was twelve.  When she finished, she said to her mother, "Wow!  God is really, really God."  What a statement!  My little friend understood that God is powerful and accomplishes His purposes even when it makes no sense to us.  He is strong and good, whether we recognize it or not.

And He is God.  He's not afraid of being misunderstood by anyone.  He always does what is right, in order to fulfill His purpose.  The strength of that and His absolute sovereignty give me security.  He is really, really God.

The strength of that (that He always does what is right) and His absolute sovereignty give me security.  I could proclaim it again and again: How great is our God!  How could I ever doubt His power?  How could I let my own sinful nature distract me from His glory, His omnipotence, His guardianship?  Instead of fretting about how God will work His will in this world, these present circumstances, we must remember that He is above all of these worldly things.  God created the earth, but He is not of it.  God doesn't play by the rules of America, or Europe, or China or any other nation, and He doesn't have to adjust His plans to fit the changing situations of today.  No, God may have given us all free will, but He is our heavenly King whose will is and always will be done.  How comforting!  How humbling.  No stones in our path will block God from delivering us.  He was there when a mighty stone was rolled away once before, and He will be there to move ours, as well.

Hope

Today I decided to do a random search on Bible Gateway and dissect whatever piece of Scripture turned up.  Feeling jittery, anxious and just plain ol' stressed over trying to sell our home (and we've only been on the market for, like, three days, LOL) has me on edge.  I can barely sit let alone collect my thoughts into a cohesive message, so I figured that really delving into a piece of Scripture and turning it over in my heart would help me refocus.  It also just so happens that I have two lightly sleeping babies next to me in this small house, so opening up the closet to get one of my Bibles would stop their slumber in its tracks...thank you, Jesus, for Bible Gateway!

Anyway, the word "hopeful" popped into my head, which, according to Bible Gateway, doesn't appear in the NIV version of the Bible.  However, "hope" does, and God was obviously bringing to light a lesson that He needed me to refocus on today.  Ever since deciding to finally put this house up for sale, it's been a true crusade for me to really rely on the Lord and work on abandoning my control freak issues.  I have major ones. ;o)  The stress over deciding not to move 'til we sell this place, the frustration and anxiety caused by the sellers of the house we're in agreement for about wanting to still accept offers for earlier closing dates, and my ever-increasing dissatisfaction with the lack of functionality that our current house possesses for daily life with a baby just eat away at me 'til I'm way too fixated on getting that one little smudge off the wall or fainting at the sight of another spot on the kitchen counter.

Alas, the Lord is too good to me and always my White Knight on horseback.  After doing a keyword search for "hope" at Bible Gateway, a bunch of categories arose, including waiting, which just seemed so right.  Immediately I clicked on it, and guess what came up?

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word do I hope." (Psalm 130:5)

My favorite piece of Scripture.  Of all time.  Wow.  Joyfully has this verse always resonated with me.  It fills my mind with brilliant sunshine, causes every gray space to fade into crystalline blue, and it forever reminds me that my whole purpose for being here is to make God my King that I can bask in the beauty of His loving smile when I finally reach His heavenly paradise.  No matter what trials, tribulations, frustrations, annoyances and aggravations plague my sinful, earthly self, I have a Lord, a Savior, who tells me to hold on, keep steadfast in the race.  Cling to the message of Christ and the Word of God.  You don't need to be perfect, just keep hanging on.  This house is nothing compared to the mansions of heaven.

Forgiveness

"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." (Proverbs 19:11)

Perhaps it's not to the tribute of the human being who can forgive, but to Him who has saved us whenever we absolve blame in His name.  Joseph of the Old Testament certainly is regarded as a forgiving, merciful and compassionate servant of God after forgiving the brothers who left him for dead in his youth.  His wicked, jealous, evil brothers eventually begged Joseph's forgiveness when their jealousy turned into emulation and regret after the death of their father.  God had raised Joseph into a person of great honor and faith.  His brothers lamented their ill treatment of him and asked to repent. 

However, I don't believe that it's Joseph's power of forgiveness which distinguishes him in those circumstances.  As the Scripture from the Book of Proverbs reads, "a man's wisdom...", so was Joseph using his discernment in choosing to forgive the terrible wrongs of his brothers.  From where did Joseph's wisdom come?  It was through the gift of our Lord God.  Choice is the result of our free will, and we can choose to ask God to grant us wisdom in all situations.  Asking the Lord to wipe away the hurt of being wronged, give us the power to forget, and cause us to feel pleasantly towards a person who has hurt us are not the same as asking God to shower us with a spirit of forgiveness.  Forgiving is a choice to obey God, a decision to be wise.  To forgive a person does not mean that their infliction is forgotten or deemed "no big deal".  Truly forgiving someone happens because we seek to follow the example of Jesus in all that we do, and wisdom from the Word of God teaches that our Lord wants us to turn the cheek when wronged and love others as we love Him.

New Life for an Old Adage: That Which Doesn't...

"The full acting out of the self's surrender to God therefore demands pain: this action, to be perfect, must be done from the pure will to obey, in the absence, or in the teeth of, inclination."

C.S. Lewis

Joseph's beautiful, amazing, colorful, coveted coat.  The tunic which Joseph was given by his father wasn't the cause of his brothers' vexation.  If you pass by a smartly dressed woman on the street, you don't dislike her because her outfit is more attractive than yours.  The sight of her stirs envy within, a discontent that erupts into a sinful attitude. 

Joseph's brothers' disdain for him was the result of their sinful minds.  But aren't we all the brothers of Joseph at one time or another?  He didn't set out to upset his brothers and would later become a true blessing to them.

My Bible's notes about this account discuss the sovereignty of God.  They point out that the Lord uses who and what He pleases in order to accomplish things with us.  That's His power.  Sometimes the people and things that aggravate us the most are actually for our greater benefit.  I can certainly recall MANY experiences in which this point has been proven correct.  Even in the face of adversity, whether it be from a person or a situation, there has been a powerful lesson that our good Lord needed me to learn.  There's beauty in God's sovereignty - He needs us to master certain lessons so that we grow in our relationship with Him.  Becoming closer to God prospers and blesses us.  Our Heavenly Father wants nothing more than a happy union with His precious children.

The quote from C.S. Lewis at the start of this entry was included to illustrate that, though God performs acts for our benefit, it's usually not the easy road that we need to take to complete the journey.  Yes, His love for us is full of compassion but becoming more Christ-like goes against our sinful natures.  It's difficult, but it's worth it.  After all, Jesus was born the Messiah but His path to sit at the right hand of His Father was tremendously hard.  It would be foolish to think that His steadfast perseverence and diligent arduousness did not result in anything extraordinary.

Questions

"Then Jacob was left alone and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day...

And He said, 'Let me go, for the day breaks.'

But he said, 'I will not let You go unless You bless me!'

So He said to him, 'What is your name?'

He said, 'Jacob.'

And He said, 'Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.'

Then Jacob asked, saying, 'Tell me You name, I pray.'

And He said, 'Why is it that you ask about My name?'  And He blessed him there.

Genesis 32:24-29

As I was reading through my Bible this morning, I came across a devotion about the account of Jacob fighting an angel in the desert.  This altercation is more than a professional wrestling cage match or boxing on Pay-Per-View.  God illustrates an essential tenet of faith in Jacob's experience, one that is echoed throughout the Bible: when we ask a question of God, He asks a question back.

My husband and I are about to sell our first house, which we have lived in for two and a half years.  It's been both a source of blessing and vexation to me.  The layout makes my day as a stay-at-home mother difficult - lots of exhausting stairs, no open floor plan, only one bedroom to sleep in (the other is in the attic, not good for a baby, and the other is on the first floor and is used as our family room).  I've been in prayer for the past year and a half to find a new home.  However, there were so many things that were preventing us from moving.  We didn't know if we were going to stay in the area or not, because I was a new mother living a couple of hours away from my family and missing them terribly while my husband worked long hours.  Winter was especially rough last year.  Then, we weren't sure where to relocate if we decided to remain local.  My husband has an excellent job as an inventory department manager for an international shipping supplies distributor.  Should we live close to his job?  We weren't too far away, but living right near it would be great for him.  But, the houses were very expensive and we were adamant about not taking on a gigantic mortgage.  Should we stay here in the country?  I loved it but wanted to live near people.  I was very lonely during the day.

During the year and a half of struggle over when and where to move, all while looking at other houses and seeing God prevent many of our plans, I realized that I, too, like Jacob, was wrestling with God.  I repeatedly asked Him, "Should we move?  Is this the house?  Should we stay here?  Make it work?  What do you want me to do?"  I knew that He was working inside of me and that His plans are always for our good welfare.  It was just so difficult to be patient on the days where I was up and down three flights of steps to put laundry in, go to the bathroom, try and clean the kitchen, all while toting a baby on my hip and wearing myself out the entire way.  All the while God wasn't only telling me to "wait" - He was teaching me a valuable lesson.

I asked something of God, and He asked something of me in return.  He asked me why moving was so important to me.  "Kelly, why do you feel such despair over this?  Why do you feel that not having a different house makes you so depressed?  Why are you so anxious?"  Well, why was I?

Our home is tough to live in with a baby, but it's not impossible.  In fact, it's a blessing.  I cannot look at it through the lens of ingratitude and ever expect to see the glory of God in giving us such a place to live.  We're in the country in a small town with no crime.  We've been blessed through some good local friends and a welcoming church.  With the hardships that come with this house (missing family and friends, feeling alienated, the bad floorplan and not having enough bedrooms or the "right" space), it's also a blessing that we've endured these things and have patiently worked at keeping our eyes fixed on the Lord, not on the argumentative neighbor or how vexing it is to have steep 1800s steps (they're half the size of a regular step, trust me!). 

God showed me that I really have a problem with control - I want too much of it.  In fact, I want ALL of it!  Alas, none of it's really in my hands.  God has granted us free will, but our ultimate destinies lie with Him.  Our free will can being us closer to our Lord through obedience and trust, or it can connect us with the devil.  Our house was fine for the time-being, and I didn't have to depress myself over dwelling on how we'd definitely need a different place when a second child came or when Grace was a couple years older.  I didn't have to get so anxious over not yet knowing if we'd stay in Berks County or leave for Chester County.  In fact, God already knew what would happen and was asking me to stay steadfast in trusting His plans.  Who am I to say that the Creator of this fantastic and inexplicably grand planet and universe couldn't devise where my next house would be and how we'd get there?

So, today I thank my Lord for not only granting us this move which we're gearing up for, but for the past year and a half of asking us to wait and reflect.  If He would've given us all of the answers when Grace was born and we started getting antsy about relocating (okay, I say "we" but hubby really is the most content person alive, so he was never worried, LOL), then I would've never grown closer to Him through working to answer His questions.  Instead of entreating God for a response and quietly listening for His answer, choose to hear His question.  I promise that The Almighty's reply will always be clear in your answer.

A Father's Love

"Now it came to pass after these things that God tested Abraham, and said to him, 'Abraham!'  And he said, 'Here I am.'  Then He said, 'Take now your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.'  So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son; and he split the wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him.'"
Genesis 22:1-3

The account of Abraham offering up his son Isaac at the request of God demonstrates great faith.  Abraham trusted that the Lord knew what He was doing and that His plans were best.  However, this story (though I mean that in no fictional sense) tells much more than of God saving the son of His faithful servant.  After all, how could God instruct Abraham to kill his beloved Isaac?  What pain was to have grieved Abraham!  Likewise, what terror and pain would've gripped his son if he knew what his father was about to do...and from whom the orders came.

God understood all of these emotions and the tangle in which Abraham was placed.  He wanted to always do God's will but also loved his son, his only son.  His emotional state must have been inexplicable.  Anyone who reads about Abraham's experience, especially if the reader is a parent, feels at least someone incredulous that our loving Father would direct Abraham to take the life of his child.  But, there would come a day when the Father Himself would sacrifice His only, beloved, begotten Son.  He would do it out of love for us all.

Did God set up what happened with Abraham and Isaac as a prescursor and a later reflection to teach us about how truly powerful the gift of Jesus Christ is?  I believe that our Holy Father does nothing by chance.  Abraham was ready to kill his only child to show love to his God.  God did kill His only Child to show love, as well...to us.